Queer Eye for the ThursGAY

Okaaaaaaaaaay y'all. This week's ThursGAY has an eye for fashion, luxury, and knows how to make straight women "look good naked".  What more could a LW want???  This week we dub Carson Kressley an official LW ThursGAY.  With his breakout Bravo (a LW favorite) show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy we got to live out one of our many LW fantasies: that our best gay would give our (nonexistent) boyfriend fashion, cooking, and etiquette tips!  Carson would wave his magic gay wand and schlubby frat guys were suddenly transformed into well-groomed RL Polo models. Le sigh. When Queer Eye ended, we need not fret because he then moved over to Lifetime (!) and hosted How to Look Good Naked.  It taught us LW how to dress for our body type and exude the confidence that is dead 99.999999% of the time.  Only Jinxy Cat has ever heard us belt out Celine anyway.  Nowadays Carson is busy being fabulous, writing stye guide books, and guest judging on various pageant style shows. His combo of tough love and encouragement is exactly what a mother-daughter pageant team needs anyway!  If there's one thing I've learned from this ThursGAY, it's don't be afraid of animal prints!!!!

Print this out, We're Totally Going!!!

So yesterday on the interwebs I came across the most exciting find ever!  The Royal Wedding Invitation has been published and as you'll see below, the names of guests were written in! Now that doesn't speak very highly of the security of Scotland Yard or whatever, but it's a great find for a LW!  So far I've heard Beckhams in (yes!), Fergie out on the guest list.  Also Kanye West was invited....is he there to steal the spotlight from Kate? Hahah LOL J/K, love ya 'ne!  Anyhoo, basically, print this little golden ticket out, use your best calligraphy and get your name in there.  I'm sure it's all we'll need to get in to the party of the century, right.....right?

That Lord Chamberlain is commanded to invite ME!

An Interesting Theory...

So I for one, would NEVER suspect my lovely little Jinxy Cat of keeping me perpetually single, but the BBC has some interesting statistics and a theory on the correlation between female cat owners and loneliness.  If you're curious about this malarky, take a look below: Single White Feline

The Weekly ThursGAY

So this week we welcome perhaps our youngest ThursGAY yet into our little hall of fame. Chris Colfer, from the breakaway hit Glee gets that honor.  Unlike ThursGAYs before him, Chris is a true sign of the ever changing times as he never had a "coming out" moment...he's just always been openly out and proud!  Born in 1990 in a conservative small town in California, he faced bullying and prejudice, but that only became fuel for his artistic fire! His character, Kurt, faced those same road blocks, only this time his story could inspire the world!  We were just itching for a fabulous gay high school student role model, who could tell us when we dress badly, and sing like an angel.  He reminds me of "Fancy Pants" from the movie School of Rock all grown up. Most recently he won the Golden Globe for best supporting actor, so at least the wonky Hollywood Foreign Press thinks he rocks. But seriously his speech was moving, and he dedicated his award to all the kids out there that are bullied and don't think it gets better. So conrats to you, Chris you've certainly hit the high note in our gleeful hearts.



That pose, that eyebrow! Fabulous!



A National Day of Mourning

So today is Valentine's Day.

Yeah that about sums it up.

Just kidding (not really).  Here at the LW blog, this day can be hard because while the other 364 are enough of a reminder of our perpetual loneliness, today makes that reminder inescapable!!  From the excessive PDA, the pink hearts, happy couples, and red roses it can sometimes be too much for the average LW to bear.  But that doesn't mean you should slit your wrists just so you can see red on this day too!! How about you drink a lot of red wine instead? Perhaps in a nice chamomile bubble bath? And what they hey, buy those Godiva chocolates...everyone else is!  Luckily this horrible day falls on a Monday this year, so the blow is somewhat lessened by the fact that people do actually have jobs to go to and things to do and the world doesn't stop just because you cube mate got 3 dozen red roses from some guy she's been seeing for 2 weeks but already knows he's the one!!! Er, I mean, the best approach for any LW is to look at this day as any other, and before you know it, it will be Tuesday and all the crappy Valentine's Day stuff that Walgreen's didn't sell will be 75% off.  So look at the silver lining my LW friends, there's always next year, and when you come home tonight, I know for a fact Jinxy Cat will be VERY excited to spend the holiday with you.  Just don't forget the salmon, it's his holiday treat.

For those that find this day to be too difficult, there is help.  Call our hotline: 1-800-555-IMALW, we have operators standing by to talk you off that ledge and direct you to LW support groups in your area. Just think less than 15 hours to go and this will all be over...

Weekly ThursGAY...fashionably late

Sequins, feathers, fur, glitter, ice.  What do these words make you think of? Well if you said this week's  ThursGAY Johnny Weir, then you'd be right!!!  Perhaps our most flamboyant ThursGAY to date, Johnny is known for pushing the envelope, both on and off the ice. Ever since his documentary, "Popstar on Ice" premiered his fan base exploded beyond Japanese Harujuku girls and vodka drinking Russians.  His reality show "Be Good Johnny Weir" on the very progressive Sundance Channel gave us a glimpse into the quirky daily life of this budding icon.  From his OCD clean, Versailles-inspired apartment, to his expansive collection of mink hats, stoles, and coats, and his self described "anorexia adjacent" diet, Johnny was a soul unlike any other.  When he guested on Kathy Griffin's "My Life on the D-List" and taught her to skate, we knew she had given her gay approval and his status was cemented!

At the 2010 Winter Olympics he caused quite a stir with this short program costume once PETA threatened him for using fur; but his routine he danced to Lady Gaga blew us out of the water! From then on, his gay star has shot off from judging "Skating With the Stars" to moving his reality show to the network LOGO, and most recently releasing his new single "Dirty Love".  It's sexy, bumpin, and sure to become the new gay anthem! While it was the worst kept secret in skating for years that Johnny was in fact gay, he didn't officially come out until his memoir "Welcome to my World" was released in January. His effort was commendable however, as it was done in an effort to take a stand against the ever growing bullying problem in America. So keep blading on to glory, Johnny you continue to triple axle into our hearts!

A Lonely Woman's Favorite: The Rom-Com

So in honor, or perhaps in disdain for that fast approaching day that starts with a "V", we have compiled a list of the LW's Top 10 Romantic Comedies Of All Time.  It's no secret that rom-coms are obviously a LW's favorite film genre, but not every film possesses the qualities that draw a true LW in. Check out our list below and see if you agree. Any movies you'd add? Tell us in the comments!

10. Sweet Home Alabama. It's got southern charm coming out of its ears, McDreamy, and Reese Witherspoon! Plus how often does a career driven LW get to choose between 2 guys?? Oh and don't forget the scene where she picks any engagement ring she wants from Tiffany's! Le sigh.

9. Mystic Pizza. It was Julia Roberts' break out role and really hit the hard questions! Can a poor girl from the wrong side of the tracks who works in a lowly pizza parlor really find love with a dashing Harvard boy with a name like Windsor? Will their love survive against the odds? We've certainly never seen this plot line before. Oh and Matt Damon's teen self is in it...yummy!

8. The Wedding Singer. How could you not love a guy who gives singing lessons to sweet old ladies AND only wants to marry the love of his life??? If only Robby could make Julia see that Glenn is not the one, all would be right! So, last minute flight to stop the wedding? Another very original rom-com element. And any dude that says he wants to grow old with us and let us hold the remote control is A-OK in our LW book!

7. Dirty Dancing. Nobody puts baby in a corner...unless you're a muscly Patrick Swayze and I landed in that corner because we just nailed the final lift at the Labor Day picnic. Icon status. "I had the time of my life" watching this movie. Enough said.

6. While You Were Sleeping. What LW rom-com list would be complete without a nod to our recently rejoined club member (screw you Jesse James!) and all around great gal, Sandra Bullock! This is a tale of unrequited love amidst the subway, when through a twist of fate she's mistaken for her crush's fiance and shenanigans ensue! This one really does have the balance of comedy and romance. Plus mid-90s Independence Day era Bill Pullman is pretty cute too :)

5. Sleepless in Seattle. Tom Hanks. Meg Ryan. Climactic meeting atop the Empire State Building in a nod to the classic An Affair to Remember. This movie practically has LWs salivating at the utter romance of a dashing widower finding love again through a chance call-in to a national radio show. All of which is prompted by his precocious young son. Nora Ephron, you've spoken to our LW heart again. There's way too many "awww" moments and longing sighs to count from this movie!

4. Say Anything. John Hughes really captured the voice of an era throughout the 1980s, and while so many of his films are iconic, this one tugs at just the right heartstrings! What LW hasn't fantasized that a young John Cusack would stand outside her window blasting a Peter Gabriel love song just to say the feelings he can't? It's swoon worthy overload!

3. Notting Hill. Julia makes her second appearance on the countdown with yet another "can love overcome their differences?" story.  This time however she's a movie star and the strapping Hugh Grant is the English any man who's caught her eye. And lest we forget her famous line that makes this movie so LW worthy: "I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her." You go get her Hugh!

2. Bridget Jones's Diary. I bet you LWs were getting worried you hadn't seen this on the list yet. Well never fear, we save the best for the end! Bridget Jones is the epitomic lonely woman so perhaps this movie speaks to us more than any other. From her struggles with unavailable men (Hugh Grant, again) to her nights with pints of ice cream and singing Celine Dion songs loudly and alone in her apartment, it was as if we were watching a home movie! But in the end, she snags her man (in some very unflattering granny panties I might add!) and reminds us that there is hope for us still!

And Finally....

1. Love Actually. Perhaps a surprising choice on the surface, but a wise one just the same. This movie has key essential elements: Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, a wedding, a hot foreign guy with six pack abs, Dido on the soundtrack, British accents, and of course LOVE. Lots of it, in all shapes and kinds. From mothers to daughters, fathers to sons, brothers and sisters, best friends, new romances, old romances, this movie has got it all. It warms our heart to see that love comes in many forms, and in doing so reminds us that maybe we aren't so lonely after all...

The ThursGAY

Doogie Howser, Barney, Neil, NPH.  All of these refer to our very special ThursGAY, Neil Patrick Harris.  As our favorite (and only) teen doctor of the early 1990s, NPH gave our elementary school hearts something to flutter about. He's a doctor AND in our age range? Score! Then little Doogie disappeared for a while, but we were always left wondering what happened to the handsome doc of yesteryear.  Then when How I Met Your Mother exploded onto the scene, we could hardly believe the pubescent MD had become a strapping and handsome man!  Now we had the womanizing and well dressed Barney to lust after.  It wasn't until November 2006 that he shocked the world with his "I'm Gay" announcement. No gay plays straight quite as well NPH. I don't know about you, but this LW did not see that one coming! Ricky Martin on the other hand....that's a different story.  Luckily it didn't hurt his popularity at all, and only opened the door for him to finally do more gay-friendly things...like host the Tony Awards which he did in 2009.  With the birth of his twins in October 2010 (what is it with the Gays and twins??) his life with partner David Burtka was complete and he continues to amaze us with his gay sleight of hand to this day. That's a pun on his ability to play straight roles and the fact that NPH is really into magic for some reason, I swear look it up! So just like a rabbit out of a hat, we pull you, Neil Patrick Harris out as our weekly ThursGAY!

An Exciting Find Fit for a King

So as this cold and bitter (just like our LW souls) winter rolls on, I've been amiss in forgetting to remind all my fellow LWs out there that in just a few short months, along with warm weather, spring brings a ROYAL WEDDING! I'm sure you all know by now that Prince Will is marrying his longtime love, commoner Kate Middleton (see ladies? there is hope for us regular Janes!).  Well now that the date has been set, April 29th, here at the blog we'll be periodically counting down and updating with news.  When the day finally arrives it will be a live blogging extravaganza for sure. But in the mean time, I thought I would direct you all to this great find on the Washington Post website: a Royal Wedding Watch! It's a great fix for all the tidbits from the faxed save-the-dates (tacky!) to special royal themed condoms (classy!). So check it out in your down time and be sure to check back, because in no time the nuptials the world has been waiting for will be underway. I'm off to the hat shop right now to select the right head piece for just the event! I just hope Fergie doesn't get the same one as me...

The Weekly ThursGAY

THis week we honor two of LW favorites, Bravo TV and the Gays. Our ThursGAY this week is Bravo TV extraordinare, Andy Cohen!  Andy first came on our gaydar as the cross-eyed and overly probing host of the Real Housewives reunion specials.  Nevermind the fact that he used his position as a Bravo tv executive, to live out his gay fantasy gab fest and be on television. Within his tightly gripped blue cards, he had the questions just uncomfortable enough to make even the most botoxed of Housewives quiver a little.  Since then, Andy has "skyrocketed" to basic cable fame with his weekly late night show, "Watch What Happens Live".  Few things are gayer than his Bravo clubhouse, the appletinis he drinks while live on the air, his weekly Mazels, and the fabulous divas he calls his "guests".  Who could forget the near 20 minute philosophical shoe discussion with Sarah Jessica Parker of when Kim Zolciak from "Real Housewives of Atlanta" world premiered her mediocre 'hit' "Google Me" right on Andy's very own show??  Without our ThursGAY Andy, we could have missed out on these once in a lifetime moments! That's why we salute Mr. Cohen, for bringing hair extension pulling, Gucci wearing housewives to the world! Mazel tov Andy, Mazel tov.

Lonely Women=Recognized Consumer Group!!!

Hello Fellow Lonely Women. I am very happy to report that just as the suffragists, civil rights activists, and more recently the Gays before us, our push for acceptance as a recognized group with the same rights and privileges as couples has made another great stride forward! I recently visited my local Target store and while doing my weekly grocery shopping for one, I came upon a miraculous discovery in the frozen meal aisle.  All of the Lonely Woman faves, Lean Cuisines, Smart Ones, and Healthy Choices were sub categorized in a special section denoted with a red sign reading "Meals for One" (see below for photographic evidence).  No longer do we have to dig through the boxes of Stouffers large family dinners or huge meaty frozen pizzas to find our LWDs (lonely woman dinners).  Target is a pioneer in the movement for LW acceptance and we applaud them! They have now officially made our list of SafeHaven Lonely Woman places (along with other establishments such as Bed, Bath & Beyond; Yoga studios; and girls-only nights out). So please tell fellow LWs out there that there is a place for us in this couply society and that IT GETS BETTER! Also, please shop at Target...great special this week on Maybelline Great Lash Mascara :)!

Target: A Partner in the LW Civil Rights Movement!

The Weekly ThursGAY!

This week we're switching gears (not teams!) a bit from the music industry and heading to every lonely woman's favorite Saturday activity; interior design! This weeks ThursGAY is Nate Berkus! We all know Nate Berkus from our Goddess Oprah's show. Many a lonely woman afternoon has been spent weeping with Nate about the loss of his true love in the Tsunami that hit Sri Lanka in 2004. When Nate isn't making us cry about the story of love and loss, he's making us reexamine our design skills and take a good hard look at our shabby chic interiors and usually discover that it's more shabby than chic. But there's hope! As every lonely woman knows, Nate can walk you through the whole redecorating process with his line of home decor items available at Linens N Things (also known as a great date spot)! So this week we salute Nate Berkus the ThursGAY for being the only man that ever knows what kind of bedspread we've got going on in our Lonely Woman lair!


Nate in his element!



Nate Berkus approved lonely woman bedding...the Indochine collection!

Live Posting...The Golden Globes!

Ok so I'm sure you other Lonely Women are totally watching the Golden Globes right now. I for one am enjoying a lovely $8 bottle of Pinot Grigio and am wearing my formal bathrobe. The gowns for the most part have been gorgeous, minus Helen Bonham Carter (two different shoes? eek!) and Tilda Swinton (um shirt dress?) Here's the trends I've noticed thus far:

• long sleeve dresses with shoulder pads (Angelina, Ann Hathaway, Jane Fonda)
• Black is back! (Piper Perabo, Julia Stiles, Juliana Rancic)
• Pink, pink, and MORE PINK!!! (Claire Danes, Emma Stone, Lea Michelle, Natalie Portman)

Ok the upsets/lonely woman disagreements so far:

• Steve Buscemi wins over the dreamiest of dreams Jon Hamm??? Ack!
• Who thought it was a good idea for Justin Bieber to present? He should learn how to read first. He'll never reach the heartthrob status of the boybands of yesteryear!
• Andrew Garfield from the Social Network is WAAAY overrated. There. I said it.

What I'm love, love, love loving!!:

• Chris Colfer winning from Glee!
• Hottie McHotterson Christian Bale winning for The Fighter and he thanked his little girl...total cuteness overload!
• Oh Ricky Gervais, you slay me. Can you believe he made a joke about Angelina and Johnny Depp? He's so edgy!
• Eva Longoria showing up solo and taking "Parker" off her name when she was announced. You go girl! Welcome back to the club, who needs that cheating hubby anyway.

Ok so that's all I've got thus far, what else have you been noticing Lonely Ladies?

The Weekly ThursGAY!

It's that time again to announce our second ThursGAY. This week we dub the honor to none other than our latin love, Ricky Martin! Looking back at his storied career from Menudo to our very own teen Lonely Womanself heartthrob, it's almost hard to imagine that during those crazy late 90's days he secretly wished it was a "he" he was "banging" instead of a "she".  With the birth of his twin boys Matteo and Valentino in 2008 via surrogate, it only fueled the nearly decade long rumors that he might wave his Puerto Rican flag the other way.  So when he announced he was a "proud homosexual man", our Lonely Woman hearts broke a little for our former latin love, but we were happy he was free to be himself! His subsequent Oprah appearance was epic, and with the Great O's blessing, it seems Ricky is back on his his way to the top. So we salute you, Ricky Martin, un  ThursGAY muy fabuloso!

Take-Out Tips for a Lonely Night In

 It's a little known secret that while cooking for one can be depressing, ordering for one can be suicidal. The stigma of your loneliness then goes public for the world to judge, or at least that sweaty dude behind the Chilis TO GO counter. Unless, you have these tried and true take-out tips that any solid Lonely Woman lives by. Have you ever wondered why Lonely Women have so many restaurant condiments, napkins and plastic cutlery? Read on to find out!
So, when you've just gotten off work on a Friday and looking forward to rocking your Netflix with Jinxy Cat as your date, you've obviously got to grab some food...but what? Everywhere a Lonely Woman likes to eat tends to be just so "couply" and you can't order another whole pizza...or can you?
Rule #1: Never be afraid of over-ordering! Get the multiple appetizers, the 2 pastas and a dessert if you want. The more you order, the less likely it looks like it's just for you. And you have to be sure to order enough that it doesn't just look like you're binge eating, plus everyone knows take-out is way better left overs than Lean Cuisines. I don't know about you, but I always want the mozzarella sticks AND the buffalo wings, it's too hard to decide! As you call your favorite take-out spot on the way home be prepared for when you walk in to pick up the food, here's what you'll need to know. Walk in pretending to be on the phone and say "Yes, honey [or whatever boyfriend pet name you prefer!] I'm picking up our dinner now. I'll be home in 10. Okay...love you too...bye." Ask the clerk to put in 2 forks, straws and extra napkins too. Some more adventurous Lonely Women even ask for extra sauces, the more exotic the better. I mean what woman wants extra hot buffalo sauce anyway? Give us more Ranch and marinara....Ranchinera (lonely woman favorite)!! But our boyfriend would love extra hot buffalo sauce. They may have been wondering what kind of woman ordered all this food before, but once you've thrown them off the scent, you'll leave them thinking what a cute couples' night!
Rule #2: Delivery is especially lonely, so create a fake party atmosphere! Now, with pizzas being practically $5 a piece these days, it's pretty easy to order 3 without blinking. Make sure one of them is some manly type pizza like Meat Lovers so that white spinach pizza you're really eating doesn't sound too girly. Don't forget to order drinks either, however 2 or 3 drinks is too obvious. Go for the 2 Liter...it really drives home the "we're having a couples game watching night at my place!" theory. Note: don't fall into the trap of a 2 Liter of Diet Coke! This immediately undoes your whole party image, as only a Lonely Woman wants an entire bottle of diet soda. Then when the doorbell rings yell out something like "don't worry guys, I've got the door, make sure the game is on" and do it right next to your door so the delivery guy is sure to hear it. Lonely Women pros also make sure they're wearing the local team's T-shirt, even if she's really about to pop in The Notebook and eat 5000 calories in pizza, alone. 

So the next time it's just too depressing to scarf down another Lean Cuisine, keep these tips at hand, and you'll feel free to order take-out without shame!

Weekly Post: The ThursGAY!

Hello fellow Lonely Women! I wanted to announce some very exciting news to the Lonely Woman's World blog! Today is the first installment of our weekly feature, "The ThursGAY".  Every Thursday we'll profile a fabulous Gay who inspires us to dress better, act sluttier, get drunker, and dance crazier every time we think of him! These are Gays who any Lonely Woman would be proud to include in her inner circle, or have as a plus one at her ex-boyfriend's wedding! He'd keep her laughing the whole time commenting on Aunt May's ghastly floral pattern dress, so there's no way she could slip off to the bathroom to sob because it wasn't her up there on the altar. Anyhoo, let me present our inaugural ThursGAY, LANCE BASS!!!

Lance Bass stands out as a true ThursGAY because not only was he a heartthrob for our tween and teen Lonely Woman selves as a member of the mega popular boy band 'NSYNC (56 million albums people!), but by the time us Lonely Women had all grown up, he morphed with us into a fabulous Gay we could rely on for fashion advice! It certainly didn't hurt that he chose to "come out" (that's the term they use, right? I only know one Gay personally so I'm not sure) on the July 2006 cover of one of the Lonely Woman Bibles, People Magazine! I also appreciate that Lance never diva-ed out and overshadowed the completely drool worthy Justin Timberlake during those 'NSYNC days; move over Jessica Biel-I'm coming for you! LOL ;) Actually you're amazing biceps and 4 inch waist are a little too intimidating for this Lonely Woman, but I digress. Lance also fostered world peace when he tried to be a cosmonaut for like 6 weeks over in Russia.  Too bad he never made it to the Space Station, he could have been the "First Gay in Space"! It's also important to note that Lance Bass is personal friends with another Lonely Woman fav, Kathy Griffin! I mean a female comic + a fabulous gay=match made in Lonely Woman heaven!! So Congrats to you, Lance Bass, our first ever ThursGAY!

A Lonely Woman's Guiltiest TV Pleasures

A a direct result of being a lonely woman, many hours are spent in front of the television sipping on some diet Coke's and eating the sweet yet salty snack du jour. This can't be helped. There is just too much quality TV programming aimed directly at the lonely woman! Let's review a few favorite guilty pleasures that have managed to capture the lonely woman's Tivo time slot episode after episode, and let's be honest, repeat episode after same repeat episode.

15. The Hills - The drama between LC and Heidi somehow never got stale over the 6 seasons the same way it doesn't between you and your married friend. Speidi? This is definitely one case where the lonely woman reigns supreme.

14. Giuliana & Bill - Yes, Giuliana calling her husband by his last name, which is ultimately her last name gets really old really fast but there's something endearing about this show that keeps us coming back week after week. Maybe as heartbreaking as their fertility issues are to watch, it shows lonely women that it it could be worse...you could be stuck married to a first generation reality show winner.

13. Project Runway - Heidi and Tim. Plus, how great is it watch someone's hopes, dreams and aspriations get dashed with a swift "Auf Wiedersehen"?

12. Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys - This is a new series, but a show about girls and their gay best friends would never go under the radar from a lonely woman. This show keeps us tuning in week after week, even though our gay best friend that we're supposed to watch with bails to hang out with his boyfriend every week...it's poetic!

11. Figure Skating - Call it an unfufilled childhood dream or the realization that it's really the only sport a lonely woman can understand, figure skating gives women an excuse to sit on the couch with a mid-day wine spritzer ( a lonely woman's beer) and offer critique on jumps we could never even attempt, shimmery outifts we wish we could fit into and Celine Dionesque song selections which we instantly google to add to our "relaxation" (aka bubble bath) playlist.

10. Teen Mom - "Thank God I remained a virgin until I was 24, or this could have been me!" is the mantra every lonely woman repeats while watching this show.

9. Miami Social - This short-lived Bravo series instantly captured our hearts when we discovered it was really just incredibly attractive people that were as depressed as the average lonely woman. It didn't hurt they they were all rich and attractive, but they all seemed miserable, which instantly made it more attractive to the lonely woman. The beach/bikini body shots also reminded us to never go to Miami.

8. Whose Wedding is it Anyway? - Every lonely woman has spent the majority of their spare and working hours of their lives planning every detail of their wedding, so how do these women get it so wrong?! Thankfully, the wedding fairy known as David Tutera is able to turn it all around and make their day a magnificent chiffon affair.

7. Rock of Love - It's always reassuring to see that for every 100 lonely women, there's 1 lonely man, and Bret Michaels is one of them. Watching these trashy girls compete for Bret's affection never lost it's appeal because you always knew that this show was never about looking for love and more about looking for fame. Every lonely woman knows that nothing is more pathetic than a trashy woman desperate to be famous.

6. Keeping up with the Kardashians - There are so many unanswered questions that pop into your head while watching this show "Is this episode after Bruce's latest plastic surgery?" "Doesn't Kourtney realize that Scott is gay?!" and the ultimate lonely woman question, "Why can't someone as attractive and rich as Kim land a man?" As lonely women ourselves, we keep tuning in to hopefully find the answer, not really for Kim, but for ourselves.

5. Bridezillas - Seriously, you sit alone watching a woman planning her wedding to a man who's agreed to marry her no less, scream and threaten anyone that crosses her path and yet you're the one sitting on the couch alone. I don't understand it either.

4. Real Housewives - I wish I could pick a particular region to highlight, but the sad reality is that as a lonely woman, we are obligated to watch all of them, not that we're complaining! The upside for the lonely woman is that as you watch rich women scream at their friends about allegedly saying rude things about their husband, you realize that you will never have this problem.

3. The Bachelor/ette - A whole group of desperate lonely women/men in one place is basically like peering in at your local bar, only the old sailors are replaced with leggy blondes. Eventually, all but one goes home lonely, and that one never lasts either, so ultimately, the lonely wins!

2. What Not to Wear - Stacey and Clinton could do no wrong in a lonely woman's eyes, they speak to her soul about what's really bringing her and her fashion sense down, which is ultimately that the woman is lonely because she dresses poorly, and she dresses poorly because she's lonely. Stacey and Clinton somehow always break the cycle!

1. Say Yes to the Dress - Who needs Friday night plans with this show?! Say Yes to the Dress is the ultimate lonely woman fantasy, you get to critique a future bride over her atrocious style and question why she would bring so many family members. Secretly, you're making plans for your own wedding dress and choosing which part of each dress you would incorporate into yours...as soon as you actually go out on a Friday night to meet a guy.

There you have it kids, the ultimate lonely woman guilty pleasure must watch list. What will you be watching this upcoming weekend?

A Lonely Woman's Holiday

So the Holidays have come and gone once again, and these times can be hit or miss for the average Lonely Woman. It's perfectly acceptable to attend the Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa holiday with family and it's even overlooked sometimes if you don't have a significant other accompany you (hey! more puzzle time with Grandma); however New Year's Eve is a very different story. So, what's a Lonely Woman to do on this oh so couply of holidays? Well here's a few tips to ensure New Years can come and go without being too lonely:

• Host a "GIRLS ONLY" New Year's Eve Slumber Party!!! Invite your best Lonely Woman Gal Pals and dress up in your finest PJs (who wants to wear a black cocktail dress anyway??) and make some fancy homemade pizzas while you watch Ryan Seacrest announcing the Ball Drop and the start of another lonely year. Don't forget the champagne for the group hug toast at midnight! In fact here's a recipe for a champagne cocktail that includes a Lonely Woman favorite: ICE CREAM! ;)

• 1 quart vanilla ice cream
• 1 quart prepared lemonade
• 1 bottle champagne
• Place the softened ice cream into a punch bowl. Pour in lemonade and champagne. Stir lightly then serve.
• Go Out With Your Gays! Nothing boosts a Lonely Woman's ego more like a night with her fabulous and well-dressed gay friends.  Not only will your NYE outfit be superb, the Gays always know the trendiest parties.  With enough drinks in your system, and once you squint your eyes enough, you'll almost believe you're surrounded by straight men by the time the Ball drops!!
• Offer to Babysit for your married friends! This is my personal fav as a fellow lonely woman.  Not only do you have set plans in advance for NYE, but the average babysitting rate can almost triple on holidays! Hello...a new pair of shoes! Plus it's just one more thing you can hold over your smug married friends.

Any one of these are sure to fend off the crippling despair of loneliness and possible 3rd wheeldom when your best friend offers to have you tag along with her and her BF on NYE. Gotta say, nothing makes me want a pint of Haagen Daaz more then chugging a bottle of champagne at midnight just so my mouth has something to do while everyone else is kissing the New Year in. Well fellow lonely women, any other proven ideas for a great, Lonely Woman-approved New Year's holiday?